Top 5 things to do while stranded at the airport

It happens to all of us, of course. “Due to Air Traffic Control delays at your destination, your flight is going to be (significantly late / canceled / diverted to Duluth, MN / dangled tantalizingly in front of you for the next 5 hours, then postponed until tomorrow morning…)” – you know the drill.

And here I am, typing away in the airport, while hundreds around me board planes that actually seem to intend to get airborne. So what do you do, when the work is wrapped up, and idle time stretches interminably ahead?

Here are 5 ways to entertain yourself when your status on the video monitor is “terminal”:

1. Stand in front of the Cinnabon outlet and breathe deeply. Ten times. Then call your spouse and boast about how you have successfully resisted excruciating temptation.

2. Let your eyes wander over all those self-help book titles in the little news and book store, snort quietly, and tell yourself that you could easily write one of those and make a fortune. Resign yourself to the fact that you’re in the wrong business, but hey, if only you could do it over again…

3. Wander up and down the terminal hallway and look for that junior high crush you always hoped you’d see again. You won’t. But you’ve just productively burned off 10 unproductive minutes, and you will see someone that looks like your high school janitor.

4. Envy all the Tumi luggage you see being wheeled about by smug and successful looking business persons. Stride on over to the airport luggage store, let your jaw drop in amazement at the prices all those spoiled prima donnas have paid for their designer baggage, and stalk out feeling downright superior that your middle-of-the-road thingie from Samsonite proves that you understand value over style, thank you very much.

5. Stare at those ubiquitous Accenture/Tiger Woods posters, feel the impact of the inevitable ego hit, then do a self-affirmation that, while you’re not going to be a tiger, you might at least be a pretty decent sort of housecat.

You’ve prowled the claustrophobic halls of transfrustration. What time-killing activities would you add in the Comments?